The Wandering Mind
by Tweedledum13
Summary: Rose Weasley has the incredible ability to lose herself in thought; but is it really a blessing to be able to relive every memory through the eyes of an insecure woman? T for swearing


Rose spent a lot of time alone. Not because she lacked company, but because she preferred the silence solitude brought.

She rarely did anything besides stare off into space, but she was never bored. As Rose had this incredible ability to lose herself in her own mind. For her, this was both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing, because she could relive her best memories over and over again, but mostly a curse, reliving ever bad memory, every mistake, every heart break. Picking them apart, finder her every flaw in each thought.

This could make her cry for hours over something minuscule that happened when she was 15, something that no longer mattered. Something that never did. But for some reason she still did it.

Her long time boyfriend, Scorpius, asked her countless times why she did it if it made her so sad, not liking how it affected her. Every time she would reply similarly.

First she would argue, because she was stubborn like that.

"It's not all bad!"

Then he would ask her why she would let her mind drift to the unhappy memories.

"Because it helps me reflect. Change. Fix my flaws."

He would try and reassure her that she had no flaws to fix, and in his eyes she didn't, but she would brush him off and let her mind wonder again.

She often thought of old breakup sand friends she had lost, thinking she knew the cause. She was the cause in her mind.

As a teenager, her parents had tried to reassure her that friends grew apart and that no one was at fault, but she never believed them. Hadn't her parents and uncle been friends since first year?

Her reflections of her previous break ups were similar. She had always been the cause of the end of her relationships. At least she thought so. There had been flaws in her behavior.

She was too clingy, too jealous, too Indifferent. The guys she had dated all said that they just felt that they couldn't move forward in the relationship. They all gave different reasons.

One of them felt that his feelings for her had been superficial and that they didn't develop over time like they should have.

Another said that he had fallen for another girl.

Someone else said he had fallen for a guy.

The next broke up with her because he cheated and felt it was unfair to Rose to continue the relationship.

They may have all given their reasons, but in Rose's reflections of her memories she saw the real problem. It was all her.

One thing she dreaded, and part of the reasons she tried to fix these flaws, was when Scorpius finally saw her for all her flaws and left her. She knew it was inevitable, even considering ending it herself, but she couldn't. Rose loved him too much to let him go, knowing that when he left, he wouldn't come back. She wanted to enjoy their time together while it lasted.

She also remembered her parents fighting. One specific memory she relived often.

It had been because of an article in The Daily Profit. Specifically about her. Some one had decided to write an article criticizing Rose on the company she liked to keep. Specifically, the man who would later become her boyfriend, Scorpius.

The article, if you condensed the content a little, called her a no good, gold digging whore, who would end up making nothing good of her life and only disappointing her family if she continue to keep the company of the spawn of a death eater. Well, it may have been put more eloquently.

Her parents didn't know what to do with the complete and utter nonsense that had just been published. Ron wanted to force, at the time, 17 year old Rose to stop spending time with Scorpius. Her mother disagreed, saying that if they did that they would only undermine Rose's confidence in her family and ad fuel to the fire that was the rumors spread by this article.

They fought for hours, until the early light of dawn. They slept in different beds for a week, and refused to speak to each other. Rose took it into her own hands and distanced herself form Scorpius. And everyone else.

Of course, eventually it all blew over, but Rose felt as though her parents relationship had become strained because of her.

All these bad memories made her sad, and to help her feel better she liked to relive good ones, special ones. A very recent one had quickly become her favorite.

She would often smile down at her left ring finger and smile, remembering the day Scorpius proposed. Since then, she rarely reflected on mistakes and bad memories. Instead she focused on the good memories and the ones that were in the making.

**Probably a little confusing, time does pass during this story. Let me know what you think!**


End file.
